UNITY....OR WAS IT.......

one propaganda that was being into the mind of the new comers of the hostel was one of HOSTEL UNITY.......dont know who came up with this idea.....but a decent piece ....one which wouold have made JOESEPH GOEBBLES proud.........every day and every night the seniors would come to us and shoot the usual shit.......eat, party, fight, play,and even shit together......the hostler is your brother they would say..........stick by him and all........
quite a few of us were taken into this hogwash.....we felt on to pof the world...people capable of taking on the world........
people would say that i am speaking loads of shit, but the fact of the matter is it was no show of strength or brotherly love for your fellow hostler but more of a power struggle, a game of one upmanship....to show i ws the prefferd of the seniors...that my writ will work around here.....and the seniors were the ones feeding the fire......putting up juniors against each other.....
just to quote an instance.......all were new to da hostel...the first birthday....dat too da hostelopener........evrybdy had a blast....njoyd, got wet lyk a heroin of a B-grade flick.....felt lyk heaven......but throughout the 4 years i didnt see the birthday of each and everybody being celebrated in the same way.....apart from ofcourse of a select few......
the unfortunate demise of one of our batchmates and the hospitalisation of a select few showed me the contempt some harboured against the majority....the frequent fights that people got into inside the hostel lifted the veil off the ugly face of the true hostel unity......
true to say that there were deep friendships developedduring this period which each and evry one of us cherishes....but they were not spread horizontally through the strata of the hostel uniformally.......instead of a single hostel....small ghettos started to form.....luckily for me i didnt find a place in ane of these ghettos....thank god for that!
i belive that sucha large group of people cannot co-inhabit a small place without fights and tensions....but when we analyse the reasons for these fights..we see that there was no possibilty of a hostel unity in the first place.......the select few, chosen by the seniors to carry on their legacy had an air of arrogance about them, as if they wid always remain in the hostel....that the world was their keep....stupid fools ..........!! the other larger section of the hostel, always harboured contempt and indifference towards the "few".......
probably i hurt myself more with this notion of mine which had sprouted in my brain in the first year that such a unity could actually exist.........an emotional fool i was......but i understood it pretty early as almost everyone did upto the end of our stay there..............
needless to say that this bullshit is still being fed at the channel gates of the first year hostel still now and will be fed till the walls of the hostel stand...........
"ALLEGEDLY STUBBORN"........AM I????

new sem,same story.....

the beauty of this sem was that i got the hang of thngs at college and hostel,the bad thng was it didn't change me much!! diversified, met new frnds, developed a contemtous feeling towards my class in particular and the non hostlers in general. got started with da gurl i hd fallen head over heels for....:)......but that's a story in intself....more than a story of our relation, it is a story of self realisation for me.......neways, back to da point....i started njoying class, given dat the subjects were easy and i hd made frns wid 2 other hostlers, ADI and SHANT.... we bugged the hell outta gurls and the day scholars whom we called by the non too polite version of the hindi translation of a part of the male genetilia...TATTA namely....wat a name...hats off to the one who came up wid it originally....!!!!
though the subjects were easy..but i still carried da dreaded ATKT,including one in matha...which i thot wud seriously dent ma chances of graduating in 4 years.....my gratitude towards ma hostelmates who recognised ma real worth and helped me plough thru......
the second sem saw us getting abused and harassed less and less by our seniors......but one recollection stands out......one day i was directed by kerala-illa dat his senior frm kerala mr.kashif sir had advised me to not follow da funda rule as i was an outsider to da state...to which i duely complied......bad move.....every day frnds came and said da seniors were not happy with me for disobeying da dress code....and one day the seniors got hold of me......
SENIOR1: KAUN HAI TU.......JEANS MEIN GHOOM RHA HAI???
SENIOR2:ARRE....ISSE NHI JAANTA...YE ANSHUL KAUL HAI...JAMMU SE....AISH HAI ISKI.
SENIOR1:KYUN SAALE, FUNDE MEIN KYUN NHI HAI???
ME:SIR WO KASHIF SIR NE MANA KIYA HAI???
and this is where i laffed out loud.......
SENIOR1:KASHIF SIR HI SAHI HAIN.....AUR HUM TO SAALE CHUTIYE HAIN NA......
lols.......i still get laughing fits.......
one the whole thngs were seeming not too bad by now....the city and the people,both were absolute darlings.......,feel maself fortunate to hv lived in da city for four years........
regular events were being held......freshers, both official and unofficial.....sports meets....and valentines day...all were great fun.......the hostel seemed heaven....
BUT ONE THING BEGAN TO TROUBLE ME.....AND IT TROUBLED ME TILL DA END......

THE STRUGGLE

THE FIRST YEAR WAS REALLY A TALE OF STRUGGLE FOR ME...ALL THE NEW FACES AND TEACHING METHODS WERE TOO MUCH TO HANDLE AT ONCE. THE HOSTEL MADE FOR AN INTERESTING OBSERVATION THOUGH. IT TEEMED WITH ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE...OF ALL SHAPES,SIZES AND TYPES.
THE NORMALS, THE BULLIES, THE STUDIOUS', AND THE LONERS.MOSTLY ALL CAME FRM THE SAME STATE BUT THR WERE A FEW FRM OUTSIDE AS WELL...THERE WAS ME, THE KERALITE I MENTIONED BEFORE, THE BENGALI GAND*E, THE NAGA HEKA KUKU, ANOTHER BENGALI LTES CALL HIM THE CEO, AND AN IMPORTED PERSON PAPPI...
THEY WERE ALL VERY FRNDLY AND I GOT ALONG NICELY WID DEM. BUT I CANT SAY THE SAME FOR MY ROOMMATE WHO IN ALL FAIRNESS TO HIM WAS A VERY DEDICATED BOY BUT MY SCHEDULE AND HIS WERE EXCATLY OPPOSITE........WE CUDNT GET TALKING STRAIGHT AWAY. THUS MOST OF MY NIGHTS WERE SPENT SLEEPING WID DA KERALIT AND THE NAGA WHO WERE ROOMMATES, USUALLY IN THE SAME CLOTHES THAT I HAD WORN TO DA COLLEGE THAT DAY.
AND SO WENT THINGS......THE FRST TASTE OF SENIORS I GOT WEN THEY CAME OVER TO DA HOSTEL DURING GANESH CHATURTHI.........MOST SEEMED LIKE "WANNABEEZ" ABUSING AWAY LIKE PIMPS MAYBE TAKING OUT THEIR FRUSTRATION TO HAVING BEEN DEPENDENT ON THEIR HANDS AND PILLOWS FOR SO LONG.......I CUD ALMOST LAUGH MY HEAD OFF THAT NYT....THEY CAME AND STATED ABUSING EVEN WEN ONE OF MY BATCHMATES FATHER WAS IN DA ROOM RYT NEXT TO DA CHANNEL GATE. IT WAS HILARIOUS TO SEE HIS EXPRESSIONS.WE DANCED MERRILY TO THE TUNE OF THE DRUMS AND THE VOLLEY OF VERBAL EXPLITIVES OF OUR SENIORS.
THERE WAS THIS TRADITION IN OUR COLLEGE THAT ONLY CITY SENIORS HAD THE MORAL AND THE FRST RYT TO RAG THEIR JUNIORS.LUCKILY FOR ME I WAS THE FRST FRM MY CITY SO I GOT AWAY.....BUT LOOKING IN THE HINDSIGHT I FEEL OF IT MORE AS A HANDICAP THAN A BLESSING 'COZ IT PREVENTED ME FRM GETTING INTRODUCED TO MY SENIORS PROPERLY IN DA FRST YR ,A THNG I HAD HOPED AGAINST.
CLASSES WERE GOING ON FULL STEAM, WITH ALL THE SMART ASSES DOING WELL IN DA CLASS....WEN I CUDNT STUDY EVEN TO SAVE MY LYF!! SOON THE XAMS VERE ON OUR HEADS AND I HAD NO CLUE AS TO HOW TO PREPARE FOR THEM...........AND AS LUCK WUD HAVE IT , EVEN THOUGH I STUDIED HARD, OR ATLEAST PRETENDED TO, I FAILED 3 OUT OF 5....
..........I CRIED MY HEART OUT THAT NYT.......THIS WERE GOING TO BE THE LONGEST 4 YEARS OF MY LYF....OR SO I THOUGHT!

THE FIRST SIGHTINGS

THOUGH I HAD COMPLETED MY ADMISSION FORMALITIES EARLIER I FORMALLY JOINED THE SHITTY COLLEGE ON 2nd OF SEPTEMBER 2005....JUST 2 DAYS AFTER MY B'THDAY. AND MY WORD WHAT A SIGHT TO BEHOLD IT WAS!! OVERGROWN GRASS THAT CUD HIDE AN ENTIRE ARMY GREW IN DA GROUNDS....ROADS IN DA COLLEGE LOOKED LYK BYLANES OF BIHAR...THAT MORBID AND DULL COLOR OF THE COLLEGE WAS NOT XACTLY WAT WUD FILL A FUCCHAS HERAT WID JOY........(wow...now thats an understatement..) AND IF THAT WAS NOT ENUF THE HOSTEL WAS AN ABSOLUTE SHOCKER AND MORE SO THAT MOTHER FUKIN' CLERK Mr. CHOOHA-AN....WHO I AT FIRST PRESUMED TO BE THE WARDEN...THAT SHITHEAD.!! AFTER I CAME TO KNOW THAT I CUD NOT BE ALLOTED DA HOSTEL MY FATHER GOT WORRIED I GUESS....WE WENT STRAIGHT TO TRHE DIRECTOR.....JUST SO YOU KNOW KASHMIRIS HAVE A TENDENCY- AN INBORN ONE- TO OVERREACT......AND WHAT A MOUTHFUL HE GAVE TO ME AND MY FATHER....PHAT GAYI....AFTER MANY ROUNDS OF TALKS I WAS PUT UP AT THE COLLEGE GUEST HOUSE "KUTTI KOTHI" WITH THE ASSUARANCE FROM THE CHIEF WARDEN MR. SEX-DENA THAT I WUD SOON GET A BERTH IN DA HOSTEL...AND SURE ENUF A FEW DAYS LATER I SHIFTED TO PLACE I HAD SO DREADED ON MY FIRST DAY IN COLLEGE.
FIRST DAY SAW ME MAKE 2 FRNDS FRM MY CLASS, GAN*DE AND MAMU... WHICH I WAS TO REGRET LATER.BUT IT WAS THE GUEST HOUSE THAT GAVE ME MY FRST TRUE FRND KERALA-ILLA, WHO I AM STILL FORTUNATE TO HAVE.
ALL THIS CULTURAL AND GEOGRAPHIC SHIFT WAS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE....ON THE FIRST DAY I SAW EVERYONE OF MY CLASS FELLOWS CHATTING UP FREELY WID EACH OTHER.....THIS UNNERVED ME A LOT...DONT KNOW Y!!! PLUS THE FACT THAT ENGINEERING NEVER WAS MY FIRST CHOICE DIDNT REALLY MAKE FOR A NYC MIX.
TO TOP IT ALL OF "SAALA EK BHI DHANG KI LAUNDIYA NAHI THI WAHAN.........SAALA SAARA MOOD OFF HO GAYA THA..........BEHENJI TYPS SUIT PEHEN KE GHOOM RAHI THI....AUR SAALE LAUNDE UNHI KE PEECHE PAGAL HO RAHE THE............."..........BUT ALL THAT WAS TO CHANGE SOON...AND WAT A PLEASENT CHANGE IT WAS TOO...........A CHANGE THAT WUD CHANGE MY LYF......

THE INITIATION

THE INITIATION:
"INCOHERENT GIBBERISH" WOULD HAVE BETTER SUITED MY BLOG'S TITLE..BUT THEN "PERSONAL PILIGRIMAGE" HAS A SENSE OF ROMANCE ATTACHED TO IT I GUESS. DONT QUITE KNOW WAT PROMPTED ME INTO THIS WHOLE BLOGGING THING; OR WHAT WILL I BLOG DOWN...MAYBE I NEVER WILL. BUT HERE I AM, READY TO DO SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE.
EVERY STORY MUST HAVE A BACKGROUND OR A FOUNDATION ON WHICH IT HAS TO BE DEVELOPED...SINCE NOTHING REALLY TERRIBLY XCITING HAPPENED IN MY LYF, I GUESS I WUD STICK TO CALLING IT A STORY OF MY COLLEGE... (lets call it shitty college...a tribute to one of my seniors) LYF.

BUT I MUST WARN THE READER THESE ARE JUST RANDOM MUSINGS OF A NOBODY...NUTHNG TERRIBLY EXCITING HERE......NO "MAGNUM OPUS" THIS...AFTER ALL AS THE TITLE SUGGESTS THIS IS JUST A :-"PERSONAL PILIGRIMAGE"